One of the first few things we parents teach our children is how to say "please" and "thank you". It's always heartwarming to see our children being thankful for every kind deed done for them or for anything that is given to them.
Recent studies have also shown that people who have a thankful attitude also have higher levels of happiness and optimism and are less likely to be affected by stress or problems.
Here are some specific steps in teaching your children to develop a grateful attitude.
1. Lead by example.
Make saying “thank you” a part of your habit. Let your everyday talk be seasoned with gratitude. In this way your children picks up that attitude. Say “thank you” to your spouse whether or not your child sees or hears you. Also express appreciation to what your child has done or is doing.
Whenever we ask any of our children to pick up a toy on the floor or to hand out something to us, we would always say thank you after they do what we ask for. By saying “thank you,” we also tell them “very good”, “wow, my child is obedient”, “I appreciate what you did” or such other phrases to express gratitude.
2. Allow kids to help in household chores.
This could mean asking them to keep their toys, cleaning the table, and many more. When you ask your kids to take part in the housework, they will realize that it is not easy work and they will appreciate more their parents’ efforts for them.
3. Encourage them to say “thank you.”
Explain to them that it is part of good manners to express thankfulness to someone for what they have given or have done for them. For little children, this takes time to sink in so when someone gives them something or a gift, lead them to say “thank you.” But this of course should not be done in a demanding way. When your children gets used to saying thank you, the next time you won’t have to tell them because they will initiate doing it on their own.
4. Make gratitude a part of your daily routine.
You can establish this during the times when family members gather together such as dinner time. Before you start eating or while eating, each one can take turns in share something he or she is thankful for. Even the little ones can share what they want to thank for.
5. Write thank you notes.
Whenever someone gives you a gift, always write a thank-you note which you can share or impart to your kids. This will make your children realize the importance of gratitude.
6. Learn to say "no" to your kids.
As a parent, it is normal for you to have the tendency to give all that your child needs but it is unhealthy if you give everything your child wants and asks for. Your child might appreciate less or might not appreciate at all what you are giving him or her. So, to lead your child to realize that not everything she wants or asks will be given, practice saying “no” to him or her. Consequently, this will also make your child appreciate those times you grant what he or she longs for.
Aside from their "please"s and "thank you"s, another good habit parents will always try instill in their children is sharing.
Here are more helpful tips on how you can encourage your children to share.
1. Set an example
Demonstrate in front of your children that you share what you have with your spouse though it is only less than enough. It is important for your child to see this because children most of the time, imitate what they see. For example, when a family member or a neighbour asks a little favour and you do it for him or her, they will learn that it is good to help and give to others in need. Thus, they will become givers themselves.
2. Talk to your child about giving and sharing
Aside from showing them that you give and share what you have to others, explain to them its importance. Explain what generosity can do for others and for them as well.
3. Motivate them to share and take turns in playing toys with their playmates
If there are other kids around whether they are at home, school or at a playground, lead your child to share or to play his or her toy with another kid. Suggest how they can take turns in playing or in playing together using the toy. This will somehow open up your child’s mind to the joy of sharing with another.
4. Express gratitude and appreciation when they give and share
Say “thank you” or “well done” or anything that will tell them that you are pleased and happy when they give to others or when they share to anyone especially those in need what they have. For example, ask them for a bite of their ice-cream or a piece of their french fry - to encourage them to share. And when they do, say “thank you” and give them a hug or a kiss for what they have done.
5. Ask them to hand out gifts you have prepared for others
During the times when you prepare a gift for another person, you can ask your child to give it. For instance, when you go to a birthday party of another child, ask your child to hand out the gift for the child celebrating his or her birthday. You can also ask your child to drop loose change to the buskers along Orchard Road the next time you walk around town. Praise them after they do so, and show them how please their actions made you or the other party feel.
6. Encourage them to give away things they no longer use to be given away to those who need it
When your kids are old enough to understand that there are less fortunate people in the society, you can motivate them to set aside their old and clothes, toys and books to be given away to children who can still use those things.
Be involved in charity work together with your kids. You can make donations, or by volunteer at a charity institution on a weekly, monthly or yearly basis. And as you do this you can tag along your children with you so they can also see what you are doing. If they see you giving yourself and time to help other people, they will learn that it is good to give and share to others.
Recent studies have also shown that people who have a thankful attitude also have higher levels of happiness and optimism and are less likely to be affected by stress or problems.
Here are some specific steps in teaching your children to develop a grateful attitude.
1. Lead by example.
Make saying “thank you” a part of your habit. Let your everyday talk be seasoned with gratitude. In this way your children picks up that attitude. Say “thank you” to your spouse whether or not your child sees or hears you. Also express appreciation to what your child has done or is doing.
Whenever we ask any of our children to pick up a toy on the floor or to hand out something to us, we would always say thank you after they do what we ask for. By saying “thank you,” we also tell them “very good”, “wow, my child is obedient”, “I appreciate what you did” or such other phrases to express gratitude.
2. Allow kids to help in household chores.
This could mean asking them to keep their toys, cleaning the table, and many more. When you ask your kids to take part in the housework, they will realize that it is not easy work and they will appreciate more their parents’ efforts for them.
3. Encourage them to say “thank you.”
Explain to them that it is part of good manners to express thankfulness to someone for what they have given or have done for them. For little children, this takes time to sink in so when someone gives them something or a gift, lead them to say “thank you.” But this of course should not be done in a demanding way. When your children gets used to saying thank you, the next time you won’t have to tell them because they will initiate doing it on their own.
4. Make gratitude a part of your daily routine.
You can establish this during the times when family members gather together such as dinner time. Before you start eating or while eating, each one can take turns in share something he or she is thankful for. Even the little ones can share what they want to thank for.
5. Write thank you notes.
Whenever someone gives you a gift, always write a thank-you note which you can share or impart to your kids. This will make your children realize the importance of gratitude.
6. Learn to say "no" to your kids.
As a parent, it is normal for you to have the tendency to give all that your child needs but it is unhealthy if you give everything your child wants and asks for. Your child might appreciate less or might not appreciate at all what you are giving him or her. So, to lead your child to realize that not everything she wants or asks will be given, practice saying “no” to him or her. Consequently, this will also make your child appreciate those times you grant what he or she longs for.
Aside from their "please"s and "thank you"s, another good habit parents will always try instill in their children is sharing.
Here are more helpful tips on how you can encourage your children to share.
1. Set an example
Demonstrate in front of your children that you share what you have with your spouse though it is only less than enough. It is important for your child to see this because children most of the time, imitate what they see. For example, when a family member or a neighbour asks a little favour and you do it for him or her, they will learn that it is good to help and give to others in need. Thus, they will become givers themselves.
2. Talk to your child about giving and sharing
Aside from showing them that you give and share what you have to others, explain to them its importance. Explain what generosity can do for others and for them as well.
3. Motivate them to share and take turns in playing toys with their playmates
If there are other kids around whether they are at home, school or at a playground, lead your child to share or to play his or her toy with another kid. Suggest how they can take turns in playing or in playing together using the toy. This will somehow open up your child’s mind to the joy of sharing with another.
4. Express gratitude and appreciation when they give and share
Say “thank you” or “well done” or anything that will tell them that you are pleased and happy when they give to others or when they share to anyone especially those in need what they have. For example, ask them for a bite of their ice-cream or a piece of their french fry - to encourage them to share. And when they do, say “thank you” and give them a hug or a kiss for what they have done.
5. Ask them to hand out gifts you have prepared for others
During the times when you prepare a gift for another person, you can ask your child to give it. For instance, when you go to a birthday party of another child, ask your child to hand out the gift for the child celebrating his or her birthday. You can also ask your child to drop loose change to the buskers along Orchard Road the next time you walk around town. Praise them after they do so, and show them how please their actions made you or the other party feel.
6. Encourage them to give away things they no longer use to be given away to those who need it
When your kids are old enough to understand that there are less fortunate people in the society, you can motivate them to set aside their old and clothes, toys and books to be given away to children who can still use those things.
Be involved in charity work together with your kids. You can make donations, or by volunteer at a charity institution on a weekly, monthly or yearly basis. And as you do this you can tag along your children with you so they can also see what you are doing. If they see you giving yourself and time to help other people, they will learn that it is good to give and share to others.
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